Category: Musings

Some of you know that for the past year I’ve been working on a novel under the nom de plume of “The Bark Minder Project.”

I created this alter-ego as a way of developing new material that might be edgy or “inappropriate” for children. (Don’t worry, I’m still doing work for families and young people!)

For example, we experimented with releasing serializations from the novel as audio on Spotify and other platforms. I’ve written a few dark and political pieces. And had the pleasure of performing and recording some distinctly non-family material in Amsterdam.

What next?

Now the book is done with the draft stage, and getting ready to move into the next phase. We’re going to be pulling the materials from Spotify, etc shortly. These are old/second draft versions, and the material has improved considerably since.

I’m engaged in the process of looking for an agent and an adventurous/traditional publisher — if you know ANYBODY who might be interested (or know someone who knows someone) — PLEASE drop me an email.

This is an awesome book, about a bunch of high school seniors who are trying to survive their senior year, when everything goes wrong. I’m not going to tell you any more just yet.

In the meantime, if you’d like to become a sponsor and get advance notice and previews, please consider becoming a Patron .

Now Anthony Bourdain is dead. Another suicide, following after Kate Spade. Two iconic success stories just killed themselves. So did one of my former teachers, Spalding Gray. Kinda makes you wonder.

Yes, I mourn for their families, etc, but really as a selfish artist-type, I’m reflecting on my own life.

If you’ve known me for long, you’ll know I’ve got two ambivalent drives—success and solitude. I hate the bullshit self-promotion that seems to be required to toot your horn endlessly about stuff.

That said, If I had to sum up my life goals so far they would be (in order: “Be a successful novelist… NO. Be a successful playwright. NO. Be a successful freelance writer. NO. Be a successful novelist. NO. Be a successful Jewish writer. NO. Be a successful storyteller. Well, maybe… Be a successful Father. (CHECK! Awesome kids!) Be a successful writer/storyteller.… Um…”

Blah blah blah. In the past 20 years, I’ve made a lot of great books and audio (patting self on back). I’ve told stories to more than 200,000 people live in five countries.

And I’ve been satisfied for about ten or fifteen minutes at a time.

On the one hand, this drives me to create new and better stuff. On the other, it often/always leaves me wondering what am I doing and why.

Fortunately, in between all the angst and self-flagellation, I’ve had help from my lovely wife, family, friends, coaches and shrink. As my advisor, Ben said, “You’ve been like that as long as I’ve known you. Which is about 30 years.” Thirty years and I’m still not “there” yet? Talking to people and listening and getting perspective keeps me even contemplating eating a gun.

I’ve said at times that my mission (one of my missions) is to transmit joy with story. How can you do that when you’re bleaked-out? The answer is, you can’t. You have to dig down, set aside the debris, and shine a light on the gold — even if it is dust that slips through your fingers.

Is this maudlin tripe? Well, reflecting lightly on the suicides of two uber-success stories will do that to you.

I’m going to miss Anthony Bourdain’s acerbic appetite. And I always liked Kate’s bags.  Spalding was in constant pain and never really hid it.

Tonight I’m “closing out a two-year world tour” at @PVDFeset. It’s all Rhode Island stuff. We’re videotaping it for posterity. And then I’m taking a break. I’ve got a bunch of gigs already scheduled, that I’m looking forward to.

But after that…

I’m going to stay alive. Breathe. Eat some good food. Transmit a little joy.

Thanks for reading this.

“knee slapping!”
—Motif Magazine

Originally released as part of the Patron Project — to get early access to this and other work, please click here to learn more about becoming a patron

Old Scratch Nickels and the Bloated Chicken Challenge

This is a live version of “Old Scratch Nickels”, recorded live at the RIBS Liars contest at the Mixed Magic Theater on January 19, 2018.

This story is NOT for children under 13. Please be advised.

Did it win? Well, it’s a liars contest, so no matter what I say you probably shouldn’t believe me.

Official release date for non-patrons on iTunes, etc: 2/1/2018